Yesterday I celebrated my 50th Birthday with the Fat Pack.

Now, I Should Have Known Better because those boys love to go Here There and Everywhere, and they like to drink at least Eight Days a Week. At first I told them This Boy is going Nowhere Man. I cannot afford it and I am strictly a Day Tripper. But the boys said "Don't worry, because We Can Work It Out; and forget about Money, because Baby Your'e a Rich Man with friends like us... Really!!"

So the following day after waiting for Mr Postman to see if he had a birthday card for me, I met the boys in Groggers bar. The boys gave me my Ticket to Ride for a Magical Mystery Tour to Liverpool. We would stay overnight and visit the old haunts of the Beatles.....Something I had always wanted to do.
(Well, that's what they convinced me!)


"Is this the Mersey..?"

We had a great night spending most of our time down Matthew Street, wandering around Lennons Bar and Flanagans etc. The boys would not let me buy a round and every time I got out my wallet, I was told Let it Be. But, Do You Want To Know a Secret? I had no real intention of buying any drinks (Well, not that night anyhow!)

By midnight I was drunk and ready for our hotel, but the boys always know some little bar that's open r-e-a-l-l-y late.

I remember swaying at the bar singing I Am the Walrus then I Saw Her Standing There. I thought. "No, she is the walrus." She said her name was Sexy Sadie and she wanted All My Loving. I told her that I had Another Girl back home. But she said," I Need You and I Want You so bad it's driving me mad." I thought, "she's so heavy I could never Carry That Weight". Later she asked, "Do you Wanna Dance?". "Sure, I would be Happy Just to Dance With You". "But", she insisted, "I Wanna Hold Your Hand, you Bad Boy." "No problem", I answered. "I Feel Fine with just that."

We started to Twist and Shout. The Girl could really move and was getting more amorous by the second. She whispered, "Lend me your ear while I sing you a song" and proceeded to nibble sexily on my ear (Fortunately, I have plenty of ear to nibble on.) and whispered her real name was Lizzie and she really wanted to Please Please Me. I replied "I'm so Tired and I need to Get Back to my hotel." She said, "All You Need is Love, and if you come back to my place I Will give you A Taste of Honey, so please please Love Me Do!! "Thats as maybe", I replied, "but you've really got me Dizzy Miss Lizzy and remember I've got a Girl back home And I Love Her." I pulled away and joined the boys at the bar. One of the boys went over and whispered Something in the girl's ear. She just smiled... "So She Loves You, yeah yeah yeah", the boys sang in unison. It was then I realised that the boys had set me up.

The girl came over again and said "Hello, Goodbye", I replied and staggered out into Mr Moonlight. We took The Long and Winding Road back to our hotel. All I needed was my bed, and hopefully, Golden Slumbers, but half the night was spent with my head down the toilet singing, "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da."

I awoke in the morning to the boys singing, "Good Morning, Good Morning." They told me we could spend all day drinking and catch the One After 909 train home, and it was my turn to pay. I was in no mood for any more beer. It had really been A Hard Day's Night, but duty calls and you cannot say no the Fat Pack. So the afternoon was spent chatting in Coopers bar about The Night Before and how With a Little Help From My Friends my 50th had turned out to be one of the best nights In My Life.

So thanks guys, and we will do it again, probably When I'm Sixty Four; and readers, if you see a P.S. at the bottom of this write up, let me assure you I have not written it.

THE END

P.S. I Love You.

P.P.S. I didn't write that last P.S.

P.P.P.S. If ever you're in London and you want to visit a groovy place,
go along to The Beatles Store. It's FAB!